Back-to-school season can feel overwhelming for any teen, but for those struggling with eating disorders, it brings unique challenges. As a therapist who works from a HAES (Health at Every Size) and fat-positive lens—and as a mom—I know this transition can stir up anxiety, body image concerns, and pressure to “fit in.”
The good news? With the right support, you can help your teen navigate this time with more safety and compassion. Here are four key ways to support your teen this fall:
1. Keep the communication open—and the judgment out.
Teens need space to share their fears, whether about lunch in the cafeteria, gym class, or friendship shifts. Listen without rushing in to “fix.” Validate their feelings and invite their feedback on how you can best support them. They are the experts on their experiences.
Example: Your teen is struggling with comparing their food choice at lunch to others.
Instead of diving into saying, “Don’t think about what your friends are eating,” try this: “I bet it feels overwhelming seeing all your friends having different things at lunch.” Another option: “I know sometimes I get anxious when I see people eating different foods than me—do you ever feel that way?”
Whatever you choose, pause after you say it and let your teen respond. If they share something along the lines of “Jamie only eats carrots, why can’t I?” or “Sam doesn’t even eat!” Start by thanking them for sharing—that’s great! Then keep the conversation going with open-ended questions like, “That sounds really tough. What would you change about lunch time?”
If they are close-lipped, don’t panic; that’s totally normal. Go with what they have told you and validate, validate, validate.
2. Partner with the school.
Teachers, counselors, and nurses can be allies if they know what’s going on. Ask about accommodations like flexible mealtimes or access to a quiet space. Even small adjustments can reduce daily stress and help your teen stay regulated. Don’t be afraid to advocate and be loud for your teen.
If assignments are given around food or body tracking, speak with the teacher who assigned it and ask for your teen to be exempted due to medical reasons. (Consider adding, “Why are students still doing these types of assignments? They can be harmful to many children, not just those with a history of eating disorders.”)
3. Watch for social media triggers.
Social media can fuel comparison and body anxiety, especially during back-to-school season, when weight loss and “what I eat in a day” content may start to reflood feeds. Talk openly about how these messages impact your teen, encourage following body-diverse accounts, and normalize taking breaks when scrolling feels overwhelming.
Taking away social media access altogether can feel so tempting, especially when we read how damaging scrolling can be for our teens. But teaching social media literacy is a lifelong skill that will benefit them for years to come.
So how do we do this?
- Setting boundaries. Limiting the amount of scrolling time is hugely beneficial and something you and your teen can talk about together.
- Make a list of “red flags.” Ask when social media starts to make your teen feel bad, and together make a list of warning signs that can help them recognize when it’s time to take a break.
- Point out filters. Discussing how AI and photo-editing tools are used to shift and change images can help reduce unrealistic comparisons.
Just like we teach toddlers emotional regulation tools, we have to teach our teens how to safely navigate the internet.
4. Model a body-neutral home and focus on family time.
Your teen is always listening. Skip comments about weight, diets, or appearance (yours or theirs).
Instead, highlight values like connection, creativity, and compassion. Family meals can be a place of laughter and bonding rather than food policing or body talk.
Some fun ideas:
- Hosting theme dinners in which you create a menu based on a favorite movie or TV show
- Game nights with new or favorite games that allow for screen-free bonding
- Trying a paint-by-numbers canvas—everyone can pick their own design, and painting is a great way to reduce anxiety and inspire creativity.
Final Thoughts
Returning to school with an eating disorder is hard—but you and your teen don’t have to navigate it alone. By grounding your support in body-neutral principles, compassion, and a little fun, you can help your teen to not just get through the school year but move toward stronger recovery and lasting self-trust.
