The holiday season is supposed to be about joy and connection. But let’s be honest, it can also bring a lot of financial pressure. And if you’ve already been dealing with money stress or economic uncertainty for a while, the holidays can become the perfect storm for overspending.
Here’s what typically happens: You’ve been restricting yourself all year, maybe because of job struggles or just general financial strain. Then the holidays roll around, and suddenly there’s this cultural permission to just… spend. We even joke about it: “Oh, I always overspend during the holidays!” But it’s not so funny when that credit card bill shows up in January.
What’s really going on here is something called “reward deprivation.” When you’ve been stressed about money and denying yourself for months, you eventually hit a breaking point where you think, “You know what? Forget it. I deserve this.” And you find all these justifications for purchases, especially when everyone around is doing the same thing.
That’s when things get really dangerous. So how do you protect yourself?
Here are some tips that actually work:
- Establish Your Budget Now
Decide your spending limit today. Not when Black Friday hits, not in December when you’re already exhausted. Do it now while you can still think clearly.
Because here’s what can happen: If you leave yourself to make these decisions when you’re emotionally exhausted—or when you’re riding that Black Friday high—you risk losing self-control completely. Make the decision when you’re in a good place, rather than waiting until you might not be.
Grab whatever budget tool you use (or just a piece of paper) and create a category for holiday spending. Write down your actual number. That’s it. Decision made.
- Use an Accountability Partner
This strategy is straightforward yet remarkably effective. Identify someone in your social network (like a partner, friend, or family member) to serve as your financial accountability partner throughout the holiday season.
Show them your list. Tell them your number. And then—this is the important part—have them actually go with you when you’re doing the shopping. If you’re going to a store, bring them along. If you’re shopping online, get them on FaceTime. Before you click “check out,” say to them: “Hey, this is who I’ve gotten stuff for, and this is my number; am I still on track?”
It’s not about them judging you or being the fun police. It’s about having someone there to keep you accountable. Sometimes you just need that voice saying, “Didn’t you already buy something for Mom?” Often, we simply need an outside perspective to question potentially impulsive decisions.
- Keep Looking at Your Finances, Even When You Don’t Want To
I see this constantly: People put their head in the sand during December. They’re just trying to finish the year or avoid looking at their accounts because it’s too hard or too scary. But then reality hits in January when that first credit card bill comes in. And it’s so much worse than if they’d just stayed engaged.
You have to make sure you’re looking at your finances regularly: weekly or every other week. Consistently. Even when you’re tired. Because, quite frankly, you can’t afford not to. Avoidance is comfortable and understandable, but you can’t let your finances be something you neglect just because it’s overwhelming.
It’ll make the first part of next year a whole lot worse if you don’t stay on top of it now.
- Remember That Gifts Don’t Have to Cost Money to Matter
We completely over-hype gift-giving, especially the expensive store-bought stuff. But science has shown us for a long time that people value experiences more than tangible gifts. Homemade things are typically cheaper too, but they’re also often more meaningful.
Think about it: Printing out a picture costs basically nothing. Writing out memories you have with someone, telling them why you appreciate them—that’s free. Those little coupon books kids make? Do an adult version. “Good for one coffee date,” or maybe “I’ll help you complete that task you’ve been putting off.” The holidays don’t have to be a shopping experience to still be happy, meaningful, and fun.
Here’s the other thing nobody talks about: You’re not the only person struggling. Set a precedent in your community that spending less money is OK. Say, “Hey, can we all save a little and do a potluck instead?” This way, you’re opening doors for other people who are in the same position but may be too scared to speak up first.
- Break Out of Financial Tunnel Vision
When people are financially discouraged or strapped for long periods of time, they get what I call “financial tunnel vision.” It feels like you only have two choices: Either I choose to be happy or I choose to be financially responsible. It can feel like they’re opposing forces—even emotional forces.
But that’s not reality. You actually have a lot of choices, especially when it comes to your money. You get to decide how much you spend on holidays, no one else. You’re the one who gets to decide whether you do something that hurts you later or something that will serve you in the future. You get to talk to your friends and family and let them know that holiday gift-giving might be less lavish this year.
These are choices you can control. And if you can focus on these choices, this can help you get out of that tunnel vision.
The holidays are stressful enough without money panic on top of everything else. Make your decisions now while you’re thinking clearly, stay honest with yourself about your finances, and remember that the best parts of the season don’t actually come with a price tag.
