Do you find yourself repeatedly replaying negative events in your mind and questioning your feelings and actions?
This negative habit, rumination, can steal your joy. In fact, it can lead to anxiety and depression and worsen any existing psychological conditions as well.
Psychologist Susan Nolen-Hoeksema dedicated her career to studying the deleterious effects of rumination and the insidious relationship between rumination and depression.
According to Nolen-Hoeksema’s Response Styles Theory, rumination is “a maladaptive pattern of responding to distress by repetitively and passively focusing on the meanings, causes, and consequences of one’s depressive symptoms rather than actively working toward a solution to resolve the circumstances surrounding these symptoms” (Lyubormirsky et al, 2015).
Ruminating doesn’t discriminate. It’s prevalent in the young as well as the old and cuts across cultures, races, and genders.
Two studies just published in the Journal of Affective Disorders showed that rumination was associated with poorer social problem-solving and more negative future thoughts in adolescents. These results are consistent with previous findings in adults.
Another recent study of 900 adults in China showed that loneliness is more likely to cause depression if one keeps ruminating on how lonely they are.
This makes perfect sense. After all, the more we focus on something, the more we tend to feel the associated emotions and relive the experience.
As esteemed philosopher William James, the father of American psychology, astutely stated, “My experience is what I agree to attend to.”
Additionally, if you’re always dwelling on the past, you’re not actively living in the present. Magical moments slip by without you noticing and acknowledging them. So, too, do opportunities for growth,
These behaviours are disastrous for our relationships as well. When we are ruminating, we miss many opportunities to connect, which can cause our romantic partner to feel ignored and neglected.
6 Suggestions to Help You Get Unstuck From Ruminating
Ruminating is something that many people will experience at some level from time to time in their lives since it’s part of being human.
For occasional bouts of ruminating, here are some suggestions to help you get unstuck from this negative state:
- Distract Yourself. Make a list of activities you enjoy. For example, read a book, play a game, or turn on your favourite uplifting music. Have the list handy for when you notice yourself stuck in ruminating. Distraction has been shown to be beneficial for negative moods.
- Change the Channel. Imagine your mind as a television. Tell yourself that you’re going to allow yourself only a couple of minutes to ruminate before switching channels, at which point you will think about something positive, or at least neutral.
- Flex your muscles, ideally in nature. Numerous studies show the positive mental benefits of physical exercise. Give yourself an extra boost by getting outdoors. Immersing ourselves in nature has been shown to have a calming effect on the body and mind.
- Practice Mindfulness. Begin slowly, where you take five minutes to focus on your breath. Mindfulness interventions have been found to help alleviate rumination.
- Simplify. Rather than running on a repetitive loop, dwelling on everything going wrong in your life, soothe your mind by simplifying. What is one step you can take right now to help take control over your life? Write it down and draft a plan to start making positive changes today.
- Seek support. Strong social connections have been consistently found to be the number-one predictor of well-being. Reach out to a close friend whom you can count on to help you focus on what is good in your life. Remembering and reliving positive memories may help you to reignite joy and increase your self-efficacy.
In sum, rumination is something that many people experience at some point in their lives. However, if left unchecked, it can decrease our well-being and lead to depression.
If you find that ruminating is negatively affecting your life and relationships on a regular basis, seek professional help from a mental health therapist.
While rumination is a hard habit to break, by becoming aware of our behaviour and experimenting with a variety of interventions, we may break the negative cycle and once again reclaim our joy.
