Burnout is a state of chronic physical, mental, and emotional energy depletion. Traditionally associated with caretaking jobs, it’s become more apparent that people with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)—or other neurodivergent minds—are more vulnerable to it.
More importantly, burnout often looks different in people with ADHD. There may be the usual signs of anger, irritability, and chronic pain that other people experience, but there are other signs to look out for that signal that you may be approaching your limits.
1. Withdrawing
For people with ADHD, social interactions may be difficult to maintain. It takes energy to remember to answer messages. Suppressing or modulating your symptoms in public so that you don’t bother others also takes its toll. So, when your energy is low and you’re functioning beyond your capacity, you may find yourself withdrawing completely.
Suddenly, messages go unanswered, your inbox grows larger, and every notification sends a sense of dread and anguish down your spine. Every text feels like an expectation, every call is a demand that you know deep within yourself that you can’t satisfy. And so you don’t answer. Even if you long for contact, seeing someone feels like too much.
If you find that it’s been days since you last saw someone you like spending time with, or that every text feels like a burden, it may be a sign that you’re running on low.
2. Sensory Overload
Clothes start to feel itchy, any noise bothers you, and the food’s texture is wrong. Not that it really is, but when we’re approaching our limits with ADHD, the filtering of sensory information that naturally happens in our brains and requires energy suddenly falls short. Everything that strays from what we strictly expect becomes overwhelming.
When our senses tell us that every stimulation is too much, it is perhaps because we’re trying to handle too much to begin with.
3. People Pleasing
When we’re running out of fuel, regulating our emotions and thoughts becomes more difficult. So what happens when we receive a text without a smiley or some negative feedback at work? We seep right into rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD). The rationalisation process that usually helps us steer clear of RSD suddenly falters because the cognitive energy required to keep it running simply isn’t there.
And when RSD hits, we start apologising, pleasing, or overadapting. Our minds enter a state where we are trying to prevent further loss, and when we perceive that conflict may arise somewhere in the future, we immediately step in and overadapt to prevent further escalation, even if the initial trigger is merely perceived.
When you start to see yourself becoming more sensitive to what people tell you or adapting to them, it may be a sign that your energy is being depleted.
4. Cravings
If you find yourself raiding the fridge, craving sugar, or eating amounts of food that you usually wouldn’t, it may be a sign that your body is trying to restore energy and dopamine where it can: in food.
When you approach burnout, your body senses that energy is starting to be lacking, so to keep you going, it tells you that you need energy, and if sleep is not an option, food is a close second. Some people may also resort to increasing their coffee or nicotine intake to keep the somnolence at bay. But this is only a temporary fix, because what you really need is rest.
Nonetheless, eating more or getting more coffee may be a sign that your batteries are low and that it’s time to replenish them.
5. ADHD Flaring Up
Your ADHD may be getting more out of control than usual. You see yourself getting distracted more easily, struggling to start tasks or finish them, or procrastinating on things that you need to do. All of that may be because you no longer have the energy to keep your brain under control. It’s not a lack of willpower, but a loss of resources.
This usually signals that a crash is not far behind, because with an ADHD flare-up, lack of sleep and bad decisions are often not far behind, which then leads to further loss.
Solutions
Once you recognise you’re going into a burnout, the first step is to find out what led you there in the first place. Is it work? A new relationship, perhaps? Or many new projects that you were excited about, but no longer provide the spark?
Whatever it is, the steps to follow are the following:
- Remove from your schedule in the next days things that are taking up your mental space and that aren’t directly related to your survival. Cooking? Maybe we can keep that, but calling your parents or seeing friends? That can wait until next week.
- Prioritize physiological needs. Sleep when you’re tired, even if it’s four hours before bedtime. Drink fluids and eat nutritious foods that are easy to cook. Cereals and milk are fine. Protein shakes are OK. As long as you get nutrients that provide you with fuel and vitamins, you’re good. It doesn’t have to be perfect.
- Allow yourself to rest. Oftentimes, we get stuck in cycles of overcompensation where we do not rest because we feel we have so much to do, but because we’re in the early stages of burnout, getting started is difficult. The result is that you often end your day without having done what you needed, but also without resting. If you feel too much friction when you start something and see yourself getting paralyzed, it means it’s not going to get done. So, put it on the side and rest.
- Ask for help. ADHD comes embedded with difficulties prioritizing and organizing, and that becomes even more difficult when we’re starting to get into burnout. Maybe someone can help you formulate a plan or get a couple of priorities straight for the upcoming days.
- Reframe success. It is about the process, not the outcome. If you have done the best you can given your current energy, then that is success. That’s it. You don’t have to push yourself beyond your limits. And if you have a goal in mind, make sure it is achievable. Ask yourself: “When will I feel satisfied with the result?” And if the answer is “I don’t know” or “Never,” then it is time to change your approach, because that is a perfect recipe for ADHD burnout.
Resting is not for the weak of heart. When you are in a burnout spiral, what is preventing you from resting feels like the most important thing in the world in that moment. It feels as if, if you stop, even for just a second, it will all fall apart. That if you rest, for just a second, you won’t manage to get back up. The drive to keep pushing is strong, like a wave crashing on you and trying to keep you under.
This is why taking a break and allowing yourself to break the cycle is about the bravest thing you can do for yourself. And the truth is, it’s also what makes life with ADHD sustainable.
