My favorite scene in the Emmy-award winning, female, and intergenerationally-centered Hacks is when the very real, flawed, and brave comedienne Deborah Vance (played brilliantly by Jean Smart) goes on the road to do stand-up.
Without offering a complete spoiler, she ends up offering a boorish, sexist, objectifying white male, who thinks he’s funny, more money than he’s ever seen to never, ever get up on stage again to spew his misogynist, homophobic drivel.
Women in the audience are visibly ecstatic at the thought of publicly silencing even one such man. Without divulging the outcome, let’s just say I cheered.
This comedian was pretty monolithic; your one-dimensional, basic jerk. We’ve all been trained over the last few years not to be like him—not to say anything blatantly biased.
And some of us delve deeper, noticing when we even think something biased—as we all do—and working on our internalized sexism, racism, islamophobia, antisemitism, and so on. We all have biases. Studies show white women, for instance, even have implicit bias against white women.
If we consciously pay attention to our words, we may realize more than we thought is male- and/or white-centered. Do you ever say “guy,” or “dude,” referring to both men and women? When you refer to someone white, do you leave out race, yet find yourself mentioning race of someone Black, Indigenous, or of color? If you retell a joke, does it always seem to feature men? Is any random animal automatically a “he” by default?
These are just some ways we privilege and reinforce male- and white- centric culture, even when we don’t want to.
Turning the language tide toward inclusivity. It’s reflexive to use outdated language that strengthens tired, unconscious beliefs, further buttressing implicit bias.
But simply thinking about bias, reading this article, watching someone point out a biased remark onscreen, or watching another person mention pronouns they prefer all help us change.
Every time you are aware of a biased thought or phrase, you can use that to create an unbiased counter-thought or comment.
This is how the brain evolves from long-standing, outmoded patterns that are no longer useful to newer neural pathways in line with what we believe. We use our forebrain, the frontal cortex where executive functioning takes place, to think clearly about what our limbic, or primitive, brain is telling us by rote. The more we think about new language, the more it sticks.
So, when you notice yourself saying “guys,” to a mixed-gender, or all-female, group, congratulate yourself for noting your bias. Then try “folks,” “y’all,” “everyone,” or “people” next time. If you mention someone’s (non-white) race or (non-Christian) religion, ask yourself if you need to. When you retell a joke, change or mix up the gender(s).
That bird or rabbit outside? Assume it could be a “she,” (after all, those rapidly multiplying bunnies weren’t all male!).
This way, you’ll be changing perceptions to become more inclusive. And when you speak, you’ll help create a more inclusive culture for everyone, where we all belong.
